I’m not sure how big he is, or even if he’s particularly bad. But he’s definitely Boris, and he’s most certainly Mayor of London. Which is where my problem starts. I know the election was a while ago but a) my website was still a figment of my imagination back then, and b) I’m a cab driver, when I feel I’ve got something to say, I can wait. So here I am, ready to vent my spleen. But I’m struggling. Not with where to start but with what to leave out. Ridiculously coiffured, old Etonian, ex-MP for Henley-On-Thames. For someone with left leanings and a love for London, it’s all a bit easy really isn’t it? Basically voted in by the great and good of Bromley and Croydon, this colossus of British politics now runs my city. And I am not happy about it, not happy at all. To explain my anger I have to go back a bit first and talk about Ken Livingstone, because I have history you see, a history with Ken that stretches back over 20 years. Memories of the great days of Fares Fare, free concerts and anti racism initiatives that meant something. To many Ken has always represented the loony left and the extremes of political correctness. But to me and many of my generation, Ken represented a force for good, someone that got things done and most importantly, was one of us – a true Londoner. But what now? Hounded out of office as much by Andrew Gilligan and the Evening Standard, as the voters of London. I could have consoled myself over the loss of Ken if it had been to a new rising political star. But to Boris farking Johnson? Do me a favour. What has this buffoon done, exactly, to justify his elevation to such a lofty public office? Assistant editor at The Torygraph? Tick. Editor of The Spectator? Tick. MP for ultra safe Conservative constituency? Tick. Denied affair with colleague? Tick. Propensity to engage mouth before overly active brain? Double tick. Memorable contribution to British politics? Um, er, to be advised.
So, all in all, strong attributes to take London sailing into the 21st century with a steady hand at the wheel. And of course we are already reaping the benefit of Boris’ vision for London. Bring back Routemasters and get rid of bendy buses. (despite being told by TfL that it will cost too much money and won’t improve safety) Close Heathrow and build a brand new airport. (despite it being obvious that the proposed location of said new airport was a complete non-starter) Commitment to cyclists. (except for the Elephant & Castle remodelling, where increased traffic congestion is now considered more important that cyclist & pedestrian safety) But at least, as a cab driver, I’ve reaped the benefit of one Boris commitment, scraping the mid-year inspection for cabs. Now, I only have to put my cab through one uber-MOT a year, not two. Christmas truly has come early for the cab trade.